Patrick's Losers - Week 8

Auburn at Missouri

Wake up everyone. It's time for Brunch, Mimosas, and football.

Our East Alabama Felines travel northwest to take on Lewis Skolnick and his Show Me Kats. The only things these 2 teams have shown is inconsistency for 7 weeks. Our beloved Felines have only won...*checks notes*...this can't be right. 2 games, 2 games, we've only won two ****ing games?!?

My Editor: "You can't say ******* in this blog"

( Actually, I F***ing love profanity - The Editor)

(Profanity is not allowed- The Owner )

Me: "That's alright, nobody's reading it anyway. " 

(This gets read more than anything we do...-  The Editor (aka Sexual Chocolate) )

Can Our Felines run the ball, control the clock and keep the Show Me Kats offense off the field. Even our punter is struggling this year. In his defense he doesn't get to kick that much because we, and by we I mean Thorne, turn it over before he gets a chance. That seems to be our biggest obstacle...can the Thorne in our side just turn around and hand the ball off or will he continue to choose to pass (AKA throw interceptions - The Editor, I am invested in this now)  when we need to chew clock. So to help with our mojo of scoring a lot...you all need to play a game today. Mrs Patrick's Losers came up with this one a crisp fall Saturday a while back and we scored so much and so early that we never played again. Here goes...every time our Felines score take a shot**....and may the odds be ever in your favor. 🤣. Let's find a way fam. The quote this week is a song and you may know the artist best from the "What's Going Down" episode of 'That's My Momma". Jackson Heights own, Mr. Randy Watson. He and his band Sexual Chocolate ( The Editor now prefers this as his nickname - Editor Sexual Chocolate)  sang it better than anyone ever has.... "I believe that BARNERS are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the BARNING they possess inside... .......the greatest BARN of all is inside of meee...yeah yeah yeah".."Sexual Chocolate!!!"

** if you aren't at home call an Uber... now. ( Where Thorne will be working next year- The Editor, Sexual Chocolate)

Patrick's Loser...Mizzou by 8


Alabama at Tennessee

Boss Hogg and his Fat Red Pachyderms load up in the big white Cadillac and head to Rocky Top. After their morning kibble the Bluetick Coonhounds will welcome the Pachyderms to Neyland where the goalposts are still relatively new. Will we see them in the river again? After watching parts of the last 2 games for both of these teams, I am more confused than ever on how good they are. Pachyderm fans calling this a "rebuilding year" with this roster should not be allowed to talk football with anyone again. Although this Pachyderm offensive line has been easier to get through than mini skirt ( Approved method- Editor Sexual Chocolate). Rumors flying around that Milroe is wearing a garter belt for good luck. When asked about the lingerie rumor Boss Hogg said only this..."Rose goes in the front, big guy". And the Coonhounds QB looks shellshocked at the moment. The Coonhounds have been less offensive than a one piece bathing suit in the last few weeks. This one comes down to who can pressure the other teams QB into mistakes.

Patrick's Loser...Alabama by 3


Georgia at Texas

The Lonestar State Biting Stripper Monkeys welcome the Peach State Leg Humpers to the Cheetah today. These Leg Humpers are the 4 legged kind and will not be tipping. They will however be trying to give the Stripper Monkeys their first loss of the season. From what I have seen from both of these teams....the Leg Humpers are not elite, and neither is any other team in the country.....except....the Biting Stripper Monkeys. They may be head and g-strings ( Approved- Editor Sexual Chocolate) above the rest this season. Therefore...

Patrick's Loser...Georgia by 9

LSU at Arkansas

Red Stick Carnival Eats travel to the Ozarks to face the Spiked Piggies in the area. Batter Dipped Weenies looking past the Pile of Pulled Pork and reveling in their win over Joey Freshwater...who may still be feeling the affects of White Claw Wednesday. Surprise Surprise....Corndogs get dipped and eaten.

Patrick's Loser...LSU by 6


Other Games:

--Punxsutawney Gus and his Yellow Round Table Dudes ride into Ames, put Dorothy on the ground, and try to wrangle the local Pink Tornado....too bad it's an F5.
Patrick's Loser...UCF by 3

--Pope's Pupils get wrecked by Atlanta Smart Kids.
Patrick's Loser...Notre Dame by 2

--"The Chair is against the wall, the chair is against the wall" The code means the Kids from Calumet get scalped by Champaign Tribe. Fighting Hugh Jackmans fall out of top 25.
Patrick's Loser...Michigan by 9

--Cornheads run into a better brand of corn in the Fighting Bobby Knights. The foosball team should wear striped pants like roundball guys do. They would look cooler when they win....and they will.
Patrick's Loser...Nebraska by 4

--Can't make jokes about a service academy. So let's let the Village People pick this game. They wanted to be in the Navy....probably for different reasons but oh well. ( I'll allow it - The Editor Sexual Chocolate)
Patrick's Loser....Charlotte by 17


--The Ville and it's local Redbirds will not be able to fly in the Tropical Cyclone hitting the area.
Patrick's Loser....Louisville by 1

--Outer Banks Pirates sail the Black Pearl into West Point. Too bad they brought swords to an artillery fight. Army has more than they need.
Patrick's Loser..East Carolina by 10

There ya have it folks...This week's Patrick's Losers. Don't forget he (and the Editor, Sexual Chocolate) are brought to you by www.BarnerSupply.com...click on it and buy you and all your family a few amazing hats. Remember, if you aren't wearing Barner, you might as well be wearing houndstooth. Also, don't forget to give @BarnerSupply a follow on 𝕏 to keep up with new trends and the Between Two Barns Podcast ( also on 𝕏 at Between Two Barns!)

Patrick is an Auburn man with a deep appreciation for Auburn Sports. Inspired by the nostalgic charm of the classic "Leonard's Losers" from his teenage years, he created "Patrick's Losers" as a modern tribute. Through this playful project, he brings back the fun of game day, engaging with all fanbases while cleverly weaving in his extensive knowledge of 80s pop culture. He can be found on 𝕏 @gameday_south where he post more of his awesome thoughts #WDE