~LAST WEEK MEMORIES~
.....watching late in the game against the Covered Wagons.....
"HALLELUJAH!!!, HOLY $#!/!!!...WHERE'S THE TYLENOL?!?"
*SIGH* I reckon we move on to THIS WEEK:
Auburn at Georgia
Jack Frost and his East Alabama Felines leave the Barn and head to the Peach State to face Larry the Dr Pepper Guy's Leg Humpers. After a loss last week to the Fat Red Pachyderms at the Boar's Nest, the Leg Humpers will be hungry to get back in the win column. Lucky for them, the underachieving Felines roll in after another head-scratching loss. If the Felines don't turn the ball over, they have played well enough on both sides of the ball to be 5-0....yet here we sit at 2-3. This Leg Humper team was preseason #1, and will make the playoff again this year. Sorry Auburn Family, we have zero chance of winning.....oh who are we kidding. I think Gordon Bombay said it best....."It's not worth BARNING, if you can't BARN HARD!!!"
Patrick's Loser...Georgia by 6
Alabama at Vandy
Boss Hogg and his Fat Red Pachyderms leave the Boar's Nest and drive the Big White Cadillac to Nash-Vegas today. Lionel Ritchie's Boys will be waiting on them to board the USS Cellar Dweller. Lionel's Boys are much better on both sides of the ball but their defense still isn't a "Brick House". And their offense against this Pachyderm D....forget it...their cousins score more at a family reunion. I don't see them having the plan or the athletes to stop this Red Algae Bloom Wave offense. Lionel's Boys only hope will be to catch the Pachyderms looking past this game. They won't be...
Patrick's Loser...Vandy by 35
Missouri at Texas A&M
Lewis Skolnick and his Show Me Kats travel to Cult Central to take on Elmo and his Lassie Look-a-Likes. This could be a sneaky good game. The Show Me Kats have not been great so far...solid, not great. While Elmo's Lassie Look-a-Likes are getting a little better each week. "Dozenth Dude" plays a factor in this one. Show Me Kats pull out a close one but the offense will have to show more than Jessie Spano did in Showgirls.
Patrick's Loser...Texas A&M by 3
Iowa at Ohio State
Blackbeard and his Poisonous Seeds welcome the River City Hawk Peepers to the Horseshoe today. The last good team to come out of Iowa was when Ray Liotta and a bunch of ghosts walked out of a cornfield. Stays that way today...
Patrick's Loser...Iowa by 24
Other Games:
--Smurfette's Horses run wild on Logan Aggies.
Patrick's Loser...Utah State by 13
--Dumbo and his Crack Enhanced Kitty Kats knock Chief Osceola off of Renegade and steal his spear.
Patrick's Loser...FSU by 19
--Blue-tick Coonhounds like bacon too.
Patrick's Loser...Arkansas by 20
--Little Gus and the My Little Pony Express head to the 'Ville to face some Angry Redbirds. This one should be high scoring. Turnovers cost these Redbirds a win last week against the Pope's Pupils and Little Gus' Ponys score more than a Cinemax After Dark movie. Home field helps in this one.
Patrick's Loser...$MU by 4
--Which came first the chicken or the egg? For Joey Freshwater it is the egg that he his Rebel Black Bear Sharks laid last week. That egg was so gold Veruca Salt is nagging her Dad for one right now. Now comes the Chicken...They feast on the Palmetto State Hens today.
Patrick's Loser...South Carolina by 10
--Three Rivers Kitties outrun the Dirty Feet.
Patrick's Loser...North Carolina by 6
Now that you know who the Losers are, try to remember that all the products at BarnerSupply.com are winners! If you ain't wearing Barner, you might as well have on houndstooth. Give @BarnerSupply a follow on 𝕏 to keep up with the latest on products and the Barner News Network Podcast.
Patrick is an Auburn man with a deep appreciation for Auburn Sports. Inspired by the nostalgic charm of the classic "Leonard's Losers" from his teenage years, he created "Patrick's Losers" as a modern tribute. Through this playful project, he brings back the fun of game day, engaging with all fanbases while cleverly weaving in his extensive knowledge of 80s pop culture. He can be found on 𝕏 @gameday_south where he post more of his awesome thoughts #WDE