Oklahoma at Auburn
Jack Frost and his East Alabama Felines welcome the Covered Wagons to the Barn today. Last week I thought our defense took a step forward while the offense decided to give the ball away. Obviously, our offensive strategy so far has been one of inclusion and equity. We have had more turnovers than a pastry shop on Diners, Drive Ins and Dives. This Covered Wagon offense hasn't been very good either. These 2 offenses may be worse the the Australian National Breakdancing team. The big question is: Can the Felines hold on to the ball? Maybe we can borrow some of Clifford Franklin's stick um. If we do that, the ball will be like a one team cold...the Felines will be the only team catching it, Felines the only team coming down with it. Lets be real... right now we couldn't score in Las Vegas with a hundred dollar bill pinned to our shirt....aw, screw it. To quote the famous David Bowie song..."LET'S BARN!!!"
Patrick's Loser...Oklahoma by 1
Georgia at Alabama
Boss Hogg and his Fat Red Pachyderms welcome Larry the Dr Pepper Guy and his Peach State Leg Humpers to the Boar's Nest today. Leg Humpers should have brought the General Lee to try and move the ball on this Pachyderm defense, although they probably would get pulled over by Roscoe for reckless driving. So far the Red Algae Bloom Wave D has been more smothering than Chloroform. Hearing Boss Hogg put in trick plays during the off week. Maybe the Pachyderms will run the Annexation of Puerto Rico...not that they need to. Leg Humpers going to have to play better on both sides of the ball to stay in this one.
Patrick's Loser...Georgia by 10
Kentucky at Ole Miss
Mollie McGrath's Mildcats walk into the Grove today to take on Joey Freshwater's Rebel Black Bear Sharks. The Rebel Black Bear Sharks will find it easier to score in this game than Joey Freshwater does on White Claw Wednesday at one of the Rooster Clubs in Oxford. Easiest schedule in the country stays that way.
Patrick's Loser...Kentucky by 20
Illinois at Penn State
Steve Urkel and his Kitty Kats welcome Butthead and his Friends of the Feather to Mt. Nittany today. If the Featherheads can run the ball and control the clock, they will have a chance at a huge road upset. Steve Urkel will try and have his stadium as lit as a sorority girl who just discovered she can chase Fireball with White Claw. Kitty Kats are balanced offensively and have a good defense as well. Going to be tough sledding for the Featherheads. Should be a good one.
Patrick's Loser...Illinois by 3
Other Games:
--Striped Headed Weasels that identify as Beavers try, but the Trojans have too much protection to penetrate.
Patrick's Loser...Wisconsin by 13
--OG Mardi Gras Kats invade Red Stick. Carnival Eats better get the stick out of their a** and be ready. Pucker factor late. No voodoo for the Corndogs. Fair Food goes down easy.
Patrick's Loser...LSU by 1
--Palmetto State Kitty Kats drive their offense straight through the California Trees.
Patrick's Loser...Stanford by 20
--The Fightin Teddy Ruxpins sing better than the Tabernacle Choir.
Patrick's Loser...BYU by 4
--Elmo and his Lassie Look-a-Likes too much for Pizza the Hut's Spiked Piggies in Cult central.
Patrick's Loser...Arkansas by 6
--Palouse Kitties head to the Smurf Village for a showdown with Smurfette's Boys. Upset? Nah...
Patrick's Loser...Wash St by 2
--A feast of giant Turkey Legs in a Tropical Cyclone. AU Food Take Clan would not approve of that food choice. #SKB
Patrick's Loser...Virginia Tech by 24
And there you have it! Another week of Patrick's Losers is in the books. When you win big using these as legit betting lines, why not head on over and repay the favor by clicking on BARNER SUPPLY and buying a hat or six. Don't forget to give @BarnerSupply a follow on š for other media and new releases. Like the new hats that came out just this week!Ā
Patrick is an Auburn man with a deep appreciation for Auburn Sports. Inspired by the nostalgic charm of the classic "Leonard's Losers" from his teenage years, he created "Patrick's Losers" as a modern tribute. Through this playful project, he brings back the fun of game day, engaging with all fanbases while cleverly weaving in his extensive knowledge of 80s pop culture. He can be found on š @gameday_south where he post more of his awesome thoughts #WDE
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