South Alabama at Auburn
The West Mobile Bobcats head to the Plains today to take on Jack Frost and his East Alabama Felines. Rumor has it that the Stormtroopers will be making a rare home appearance today. I expect more punishment in Jordan-Hare than a Saturday detention at Shermer High School. The Bobcats are leaving the friendly confines of Herbie Hancock Stadium for the first time this year and are bringing a very balanced offensive attack with them. This Feline D better continue to improve and look for more passing from the Offense this week, as the running back room has gotten about as thin as Mr. Belding's hair. ( pausing to think, dream back about Kelly....) Bobcats are definitely the Scott Howard in this game...the scrappy underdog with lots of hustle and heart....but unfortunately, no chance of turning into a wolf. They will score some and not go down without a fight, but...the Felines come in as confident on offense as Maverick in a bar singing "You've lost that lovin' feeling" with a defense that hits like a DeLorean at 88 mph. Bobcats have lost that winning feeling....
Patrick's Loser...South Alabama by 21
Wisconsin at Alabama
Boss Hogg and his Fat Red Pachyderms welcome the Cheese head Woodland Weasels to brunch at the Boar's Nest today. Another easy one for the Pachyderms. The Woodland Weasel offense is...to quote John McEnroe..." the absolute pits of the world". They may be the worst in the country. And their defense is about as good as Farmer Ted's rizz in 16 Candles. This one is still close with 15 minutes left in the 1st quarter 🤔🤣.
Patrick's Loser....Wisconsin by 31
Texas A&M at Notre Dame
Elmo and his Lassie Look-a-Likes leave Cult Central and head north for the Battle at the Basilica. The Pope's Pupils had to take a week off after losing their opener on a late field goal. And the Lassie Look-a-Likes come into the game with an offense that's flashier than a Razor Ramon entrance but about as consistent as Jessie Spano on caffeine pills...." I'm so excited" for this one. Touchdown Jesus may have to throw a late TD for the Pope's Pupils to pull this one out.
Patrick's Loser...Texas A&M by 6
Florida at LSU
Little Billy and his Giant Water Lizards head to Red Stick to take on the Carnival Eats. The Water Lizards are riding high after a 2-0 start. *checks notes...sees that the Fighting Ferdinands got spit on and still won in the Swamp. Ouch, I'm sorry, a 1-1 start. *Hot seat generator cranks up. I'm thinking Little Billy's pre-game prayer went something like this....." Oh dear God, you see my name is Billy and we have DJ Lagway at QB, and we were supposed to be good this year...there's just one problem...after last week, everybody still knows that I ABSOLUTELY SUCK!" 🤣🤣🤣Water Lizards get hammered and the hot seat spontaneously combusts. Little Billy doesn't make it back to Micanopy after the Carnival Eats break out, Jobu and play name that score in Death Valley. Sorry, Bob. But my name's Billy. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!!
Patrick's Loser...Florida by 17
Georgia at Tennessee
The Bluetick Coonhounds welcome the North Georgia Leg Humpers to the Smokies today. Neither team comes in having played anybody good yet. At least the Coonhounds have played someone with a pulse. The Leg Humpers' opponents thus far have had about as much of a pulse as Bernie Lomax. This matchup should be a good one with one team trying to grab the upper hand with a signature conference win. This one comes down to the Leg Humper offense against the Coonhound D. Can the Leg Humpers score enough? Is Sexual Chocolate the best cover band of all time? Magic 8 ball says yes to both.
Patrick's Loser...Tennessee by 4
Other Games:
-Vasity's Nerd Bees walk that dog with slaw and sting Crack Enhanced Kitty Kats.
Patrick's Loser...Clemson by 6
-Kids from Calumet scalp the Sioux.
Patrick's Loser...Central Mich by 30
- Gordon Bombay and his Quack Attack run the Flying V at the Chicago Smart Kids.
Patrick's Loser...Northwestern by 38
-Fighting Ferdinands do a reverse rain dance to cancel Tropical Cyclone.
Patrick's Loser...Miami by 1
There it is! Another amazing Patrick's Losers brought to you, as always, by BarnerSupply.com! Follow @BarnerSupply on 𝕏 for updates!
Patrick is an Auburn man with a deep appreciation for Auburn Sports. Inspired by the nostalgic charm of the classic "Leonard's Losers" from his teenage years, he created "Patrick's Losers" as a modern tribute. Through this playful project, he brings back the fun of game day, engaging with all fanbases while cleverly weaving in his extensive knowledge of 80s pop culture. He can be found on 𝕏 @gameday_south, where he posts more of his awesome thoughts #WDE
