College Football season is winding down. We have had a rough year AU Fam. We are not used to it...but if Jack Frost can find his game-day mojo again....the recruiting is there. He made one large mistake at the most important position on the field. I haven't seen a mistake that big since @BenMcAliley's hot food take about deviled eggs. If Hugh can't get QB fixed....he may have to borrow a pine box from Tubs. We have also seen an election this year. I know politics is a very divisive subject so I won't talk about it....but I haven't seen a guy beat a girl that bad since the Olympics. On a serious note...I appreciate every one of you for the support of this "aticle" that I write each week, and I hope you never get bored of it. I am very appreciative to @barnersupply and @mindful_legacy for asking me to be a small part of the Barner Supply platform. God bless you all and War Eagle....now let's get ready....It's Gameday!!!!
uLm at Auburn
The Battle Chickens from NE Louisiana arrive at the Lovliest Village today to take on Jack Frost and his East Alabama Felines. I hope the Felines are not looking past this game, these Chickens are solid. Losing this one would look worse than Dylan Mulvany on a Bud Light can. I am anticipating a change at QB after what Coach said during his press conference last week, although latest update from Thorne is he is good to go. Last time he was good to go, Bill Cosby bought him a drink. I expect to see Hank start...and hopefully hand off a lot to our stable of tailbacks. We aren't RBU for nothing. As hard as we have Barned we deserve a win today, fam. I'm reminded of that great 2 Live Crew song...."I've got an appetite for Auburn...'cause me so BARNY!!...OW, me so Barny, ow ow, me so Barny!!!"
Patrick's Loser...uLm by 12
Mercer at Alabama
The Fightin Teddy Ruxpins from Macon invade the Boar's Nest today. You can always tell when you are at the Boar's Nest....because of the sign over the urinals in the men's bathrooms that read..."Dont eat the big white mint". Maybe they should hire Dalton to clear out some of the riff raff...nah. that may leave nobody there. Boss Hogg does have his Fat Red Pachyderms playing their best football right now. After what happened aboard the USS Brick House, he shouldn't have any trouble getting his Pachyderms to stay focused. This one won't be
close.
Patrick's Loser...Mercer by 31
Tennessee at Georgia
The Bluetick Coonhounds come down off Rocky Top to go between the shrubs today. Waiting on them with fans that bark at kids and players that dance in celebration with the other teams fans will be the traffic violation waiting to happen....the Peach State Leg Humpers. Larry the Dr Pepper Guy has called his player an idiot for getting caught dancing with Rebel Black Bear Shark fans after a loss. Not sure he has ever called them idiots for reckless driving...which may be more appropriate. Something seems off about this Leg Humper team. QB problem? Culture problem? Larry definitely has a haircut problem. Problems continue and there is no joy in Fansville as they are eliminated from the playoff.
Patrick's Loser...Georgia by 6
Missouri at South Carolina
Lewis Skolnick and his Show Me Kats take the family station wagon East to take on the red hot Palmetto State Chickens. These Chickens have had more game than Milton Bradley this year. If you go to Waffle House and order hash browns smothered and covered they just bring you the South Carolina defense. The Show Me Kats better show something or they will be checking into the Smackdown Hotel. They may as well get used to it...they are not good.
Patrick's Loser...Missouri by 15
Other Games:
-- Lonestar State Biting Stripper Monkeys feel bloated on the pole after eating too much BBQ for lunch.
Patrick's Loser...Arkansas by 13
-- The 2 Youths go full porch pirate on Amazon Prime and his Rocky Mountain Tatanka.
Patrick's Loser...Colorado by 4
-- Aircraft Carriers have no trouble with Emerald Wave.
Patrick's Loser...Tulane by 1
-- Redbirds nest in California Trees.
Patrick's Loser...Stanford by 11
-- Hey Urkel....do you want me to tell you the story 'bout the Little Engine that Could...again?
Patrick's Loser...Penn State by 7
-- $MU not only invented NIL money but they will pahk their cah in the yahd today.
Patrick's Loser...Boston College by 10
-- Double Dribble U will get no help from the officials today. Pope's Pupils dominate.
Patrick's Loser...Virginia by 20
-- Carnival Eats D smothers Giant Water Lizards so much that they end up smelling like that new Ralph Lauren cologne...Eau de Batter Dipped Weenie.
Patrick's Loser...Florida by 6
-- The only thing "Jumping Around" in cheeseland will be the Quack Attack.
Patrick's Loser...Wisconsin by 16
And there you have it! Another week of Patrick's Losers in the book. As we near the end of this season we here at Barner Supply want to thank HIM for the wonderful work he has done this year. So, in honor of Patrick, stop by BarnerSupply.com and pick up several hats and whatnot. GIve @barnersupply a follow on 𝕏 as well!
Patrick is an Auburn man with a deep appreciation for Auburn Sports. Inspired by the nostalgic charm of the classic "Leonard's Losers" from his teenage years, he created "Patrick's Losers" as a modern tribute. Through this playful project, he brings back the fun of game day, engaging with all fanbases while cleverly weaving in his extensive knowledge of 80s pop culture. He can be found on 𝕏 @gameday_south where he post more of his awesome thoughts #WDE