Kentucky at Auburn
The Bourbon Soaked Kitties from the Commonwealth head to the Plains today to take on Punxsutawney Hugh and his East Alabama Felines. After benching his QB and throwing shade at his first-half defense, he got bailed out by his defense, and the Felines won despite Little Jack Frost. Seriously, his play calling is as bad as Ebby Calvin LaLoosh's pitch calling and his name. You need a nickname. What do you think of Pokey? Lucky for Punxsutawney Hugh, Powder called a defensive gem in the second half and scored a touchdown... something Jack Frost couldn't do with more possessions than a Poltergeist trailer. Watching him call plays is like watching a Tim Conway and Harvey Korman sketch on the Carol Burnett show...it's going to go off the rails pretty quickly, and chances are it's not getting back on the rails. At least those were comedy gold. This Feline offense, wow...I haven't seen anything this stagnant since Han Solo was frozen in carbonite. I would rather see Mox and Tweader running the oop dee oop and Lance Harbor calling the hook and ladder...at least there was strategy and creativity...we have neither. With all of our struggles on offense, we are so good on D that we CAN win the rest of our games. Close your eyes....now imagine we have an offense where we see multiple sets, with multiple formations, pre snap motion to get the match ups we want, crossing routes, swing passes to the backs, wheel routes....keep dreaming....." then put your little hand in mine, there ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb....babe, I got you babe "...rise and shine...it's Groundhog Day!!!...or what most people call it, Gameday!!! Fortunately for us, the Bourbon Soaked Kitties are reeling...East Alabama Felines are just too much at home.... it's A NIGHTMARE IN JORDAN-HARE for the Commonwealth Kats.
Patrick's Loser...Kentucky by 17
Idle at Alabama
Boss Hogg and his Fat Pink Pachyderms get to rest at the Boar's Nest this week. Hope you like hanging with Roscoe because Daisy is calling in sick. No TV coverage of the Pachyderms today.
Patrick's Winner....America
Vandy at Texas
Dora the Explorer's Cousin and the rest of Lionel Ritchie's Boys invade the Cheetah today with a fist full of ones, to take on the Banana Boat Kid and his Biting Stripper Monkeys. Good thing these weren't the same Monkeys that escaped in Mississippi, or they would be bagged and tagged. They may still be with the way "23andMe" Manning has been playing....and he's in concussion protocol...which may help. Both teams with stout defenses and underwhelming offenses. This one may be as bad as Humpty's fake nose. "I like to rhyme, I like my beats funky...I'm spunky, I like my oatmeal lumpy." Anyway, I think the Stripper Monkeys start their own version of Outbreak, and infect Lionel Ritchie's Boys with a case of the L's. Anchor Down?...yep, way down.
Patrick's Loser...Vandy by 8
The Cocktail Party
Georgia vs Florida
The Great Clips Liar and his Peach State Leg Humpers travel to the Sunshine State to take on the Giant Water Lizards. Sunbelt Billy has been relieved of his duties because the Water Lizards have underachieved all year. I think they make a run at Joey Freshwater, but ultimately end up with Lewis Skolnick at the helm next year. I would talk about the game, but it's kind of like the Prom Queen vs the Basket Case....Ringwald is winning going away....as will the Leg Humpers.
Patrick's Loser...Florida by 13
Other Games:
-The Covered Wagons break a wheel trying to climb Rocky Top. The McDowell's Lettuce Washer may get moved to fries after this one.
Patrick's Loser...Oklahoma by 12
-Windy Ibises can't blow My Little Pony Express' house down.
Patrick's Loser...Miami by 3
-Poisonous Seeds are hosting a blackout as the Kats from Mt Nittany come to town...hang on...being told it's not a blackout, that's just a spot where coach spilled his midnight cocoa bean Just For Men. Kats have no shot.
Patrick's Loser...Penn St by 20
-Joey Freshwater lays his annual egg, ironically against the Palmetto State Chickens.
Patrick's Loser...Ole Miss by 4
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Patrick is an Auburn man with a deep appreciation for Auburn Sports. Inspired by the nostalgic charm of the classic "Leonard's Losers" from his teenage years, he created "Patrick's Losers" as a modern tribute. Through this playful project, he brings back the fun of game day, engaging with all fanbases while cleverly weaving in his extensive knowledge of 80s pop culture. He can be found on 𝕏 @gameday_south, where he posts more of his awesome thoughts #WDE
