Vandy at Auburn
*taps heels of Red Jordan 1 Lows together*
"There's no place like the Barn...there's no place like the Barn"
It's Game-day at the Barn, fam. Let's get up...NOW!!! Sorry, early game. It's Brunch, Mimosas and football again. Dora the Explorer's Cousin and the Fightin' Lionel Ritchies sail the USS Brick House onto the Plains today to take on Jack Frost and his East Alabama Felines. After all the 4th quarter meltdowns this year, the Felines bowed their neck and found a way to win last week in the Bluegrass. We made the plays we haven't been making. We also started horribly again last week...that can't happen today. If we find ourselves in a hole against this offense and QB, they will slow it down and limit our possessions. We saw that last year. We need to flip the script and do that to them. After a few days of spending more time on the toilet than Roger Murtaugh in Lethal Weapon 2, the gameplan by Jack Frost was perfect...feed 27. Last week the O-line opened more holes than the southern border...can they do it again or will our speed on the outside hurt the Fightin' Lionel Ritchie's D? Not fun saying this ...but it's going to be a battle...as the Pachyderms and Stripper Monkeys found out.
This week's quote is an Election special..." I'm going to build a great, great BARN on the southern border, and I will have the Fat Red Pachyderm's of the University of Alabama (Tuscaloosa Campus) pay for it. Mark my words."
-Donald J Trump
Patrick's Loser...Vandy by 6
Florida vs Georgia
Cock...tail Party Time!
Larry the Dr Pepper Guy and his Peach State Leg Humpers head to the Sunshine State to face some Giant Water Lizards in the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. This one used to mean something in the SEC East. Lately, it's just been a Leg Humper Party. The Water Lizards have been in a bad mood all year and their fans say its because of all the losses. I think Momma Boucher was right....they are mad because they have all those teeth and no tooth brush. Its a cocktail party so Break out the booze! Especially if you are a Water Lizards fan, you will need it.
Patrick's Loser...Florida by 8
Ole Miss at Arkansas
Joey Freshwater, his boy band QB, and his Rebel Black Bear Sharks invade the Ozarks trying to see if BBQ will cure a White Claw hangover. Pizza the Hut and his Spiked Piggies will not go down without a fight. The biggest fight may be the AU Hot Food Take Crew trying to decide on a BBQ sauce. While that discussion is going on the Piggies sneak up and take a bite out of the Rebel Black Bear Sharks. T-Will quotes Rusty Griswold in the post game interview..."Oink Oink, my good man!" Will this be Joey's pine box moment out of Oxford? *Shakes
magic 8 ball ... signs point to yes!
Patrick's Loser...Ole Miss by 1
Ohio State at Penn State
Blackbeard and his Poisonous Seeds travel east to visit Steve Urkel and his Kitty Kats from Mt Nittany. Has the Poisonous Seeds' coach spent all week applying a fresh coat of Midnight Cocoa Bean Just for Men to his face or has he been game planning for Urkel 's Kitties. I don't think these Poisonous Seeds are elite and even at home I think these Mt Nittany Kats are faker than the Sturgis Wilder version of Terry Griffith. *Real ones will get that reference*. This one comes down to a late turnover by the Kats.
Patrick's Loser...Penn State by 2
Other Games:
--Sapphire Satans blue flame is extinguished in Tropical Cyclone.
Patrick's Loser...Duke by 9
--Quack Attack waddles into the Big House looking for a fight. Kids from Calumet are armed and ready. Upset special?
Patrick's Loser...Oregon by 1
--Fighting Bobby Knights choke out the 300.
Patrick's Loser...Michigan State by 14
--Scarlet Marauders ride into Ames looking for trouble. They find it and get swept away by Pink Tornados.
Patrick's Loser...Texas Tech by 5
--Elmo and his Lassie Look-a-Likes pluck the Palmetto State Chickens.
Patrick's Loser...South Carolina by 3
--Three Rivers Kats slow down Little Gus and the My Little Pony Express just enough.
Patrick's Loser...$MU by 3
--Redbirds nest on Howard's Rock. Crack Enhanced Kitty Kats take a step away from playoffs.
Patrick's Loser...Clemson by 1
--Bluegrass Mildcats invade Rocky Top. They go full Bob Barker and have the Coonhounds neutered.
Patrick's Loser...Tennessee by 2
--Yellow Rodents try to row their boat into Champaign. Local tribe capsizes their canoe.
Patrick's Loser...Minnesota by 10
--Surface to air missiles working as Ground Forces shoot down a bunch of guys with Callsigns.
Patrick's Loser...Air Force by 17
There ya have it folks! Another week of Patrick's Losers in the books. Brought to you, as always, by www.BarnerSupply.com. Remember, wearing Barner gear is a good way to indicate that you are NOT a part of the "Wives are for beatin', cousins are for cheatin'" Gump culture. Make sure to follow @BarnerSupply on š for product updates and information and go ahead on and give @BetweentwoBarns podcast a follow as well. Ugly dudes with bad takes. What could be better?Ā
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Patrick is an Auburn man with a deep appreciation for Auburn Sports. Inspired by the nostalgic charm of the classic "Leonard's Losers" from his teenage years, he created "Patrick's Losers" as a modern tribute. Through this playful project, he brings back the fun of game day, engaging with all fanbases while cleverly weaving in his extensive knowledge of 80s pop culture. He can be found on š @gameday_south where he post more of his awesome thoughts #WDE
