Patrick’s Losers Week 9 Edition
Auburn at Ole Miss
Ginger Spice Drago fires up the Toomer’s Lemonade Edition of Sputnik and takes his East Alabama Siberian Felines to the Doublewide in the Orchard. Uber makes no money this week because Dewey and his Rebel Black Bear Sharks are at home and he can walk to the bar for un-Happy Hour from the Doublewide. Hearing he will play Otis in the new season of Mayberry 2026. Both of these teams lost last week but one played much better than the other. After the thUGA win the AU fam was like…”a thing of beauty is a joy forever” …my man Jon Keats said that, Jon Keats that’s my man. And after last week we can’t even say…”we goin’ Sizzler.” Just a totally uninspired effort all the way around. Powder better get his D straightened out or get to steppin’. That is 2 on him this year. Couldn’t stop the Water Lizards or the Carnival Eats. And the Rebel Black Bear Sharks are more of a mystery than a Scooby Doo episode. No idea who will show up for them. At least their 18th year QB is rolling in AARP NIL money. Dude is like Charles De Mar….” I have been going to this school for 7 and a half years….I’m no dummy.” We have shocked the college football world once this year….who is up for round 2? To quote Kool and the Gang….Celebrate good times, come on!!!
Patrick’s Loser…Ole Miss by 3
Idle at Alabama
Boss Hogg almost blew a gasket in the Smokies, and almost choked on one of Lassie’s dog bones last week. Could have been a disaster. That would have been fun….no struggle today. Free Beer at the Boar’s Nest. Too bad it’s Daisy’s day off.
Patrick’s Loser…Idle by 1
Florida vs Georgia
Break out your knockoff Louis Vuitton, your Jorts and your airbrush tanktops …it’s Cocktail Party Time. The Lead Singer from Spandau Ballet and his Giant Water Lizards take on Larry the Dr. Pepper Guy and his Glitter Panty Leg Humpers. After getting pushed around by the East Alabama Siberian Felines will the Leg Humpers respond with a physical performance? Or did the Felines show other teams the way to beat the Leg Humpers? I think the Leg Humpers get back on track. This Water Lizard D is as bad as one of Data’s booty traps. May work sometimes but chances are it was luck. Water Lizard offense could do the truffle shuffle and the Leg Humper D still won’t let them in the endzone. Water Lizards head back to Moisty Mire with another L.
Patrick’s Loser….Florida by 13
Other Games:
Arizona at Texas Tech
Sandra Bullock drives her ‘Bomb on Board’ Bus and the Mildcats into the home of Buddy Holly today to take on the homestanding Scarlet Marauders. Scarlet Marauders are as fake as a Milli Vanilli video. Girl, you know it’s true.
Patrick’s Loser…Texas Tech by 15
Missouri at Arkansas
Lewis Skolnick picks up Betty for some Afternoon Delight and takes his Show me Kats to the Ozarks in time for them to have BBQ for dinner.
Patrick’s Loser…Arkansas by 23
Mississippi State at Texas
Biting Stripper Monkeys ring the Cowbell everytime they swing around the pole. No tip required.
Patrick’s Loser…Miss St by 27
And then will I declare to them, “I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.”
-Matthew 7:23
Listen, we all have fun with this, I hope, each week but this verse has been on my heart this week. I do not want to hear this when I come face to face with my Father in Heaven. I also don’t want any of you to hear this. From the time God breathed the breath of life into Adam and the first thing Adam saw was the face of his maker, that is what God wants with all of us. An intimate, face to face relationship. It’s not only life changing but it changes your eternal life too.
Much love to you all.