Texas A&M at Auburn
Elmo and his Lassie Look-a-Likes leave Cult Central and head to the Plains. Lying in wait will be Jack Frost's East Alabama Felines. Between a developer paying someone to cut down an Eagle's nest in the dead of night and what the Felines did to the Monroe War Chickens... it has not been a good week for birds on the Plains. Now the age old battle of cats and dogs will commence tonight. Did I just say tonight?...that's right, we finally have a game under the lights at Jordan Hare. That place will be more lit than a 1992 Saturday night at the Ultrabox. Kids...ask your parents about that. Seems like Elmo this week has been talking more about the Biting Stripper Monkeys than this game. Could that mean bad news for the Lassie Look-a-Likes? Stranger things have happened under these lights....it's about time to bring the magic back. Anybody that's going...be so loud that you sound like Doc Rivers the next day. We need Jarquez to run through the Lassie Look-a-Likes D, like prime Michael Vick running from PETA. Keep their Offense off the field and drives have to result in points. For all you doubters...Lloyd Christmas said it best..."so you're telling me there's a chance"...and a much better chance than he had with Mary "Samsonite" #IYKYK I'm going to quote White Goodman this week for inspiration..."At the Barn, we're better than you...and we know it."
War Damn and Barn Hard!!!
Patrick's Loser...Texas A&M by 8
Alabama at Oklahoma
Boss Hogg and his Fat Red Pachyderms load up the big white Cadillac and head west to take on the Covered Wagons. This Covered Wagon team is not good, so I hope they have circled their Wagons...because Mildew and the Pink Algae Bloom Wave offense have been scoring more than a Tri Lamb at an Omega Mu social. Seriously though...I hope the Covered Wagon D is ready or that stadium will begin to empty at the half. Pachyderms are just too good...Covered Wagons lose a wheel.
Patrick's Loser...Oklahoma by 24
Ole Miss at Florida
Joey Freshwater will be ordering Bloody Marys for a brunch date between his Rebel Black Bear Sharks and the Giant Water Lizards. If the Water Lizards want any chance of winning it will take a tremendous defensive effort...against an offense that scores more than Jason Biggs in a pie shop. This Water Lizard defense has been more smothering than Chloroform lately. Can they dial up a huge home upset? Does Joey Freshwater lie about his name and age on White Claw Wednesday ? The answer to both is yes.
Patrick's Loser...Ole Miss by 2
Indiana at Ohio State
The Fighting Bobby Knights head to the Horseshoe today where I'm sure Blackbeard has busted open a new box of Midnight Cocoa Bean on his goatee. The Poisonous Seeds are definitely a national title contender and the Fighting Bobby Knights have benefited from a weak schedule to stay undefeated this late in the season. My opinion on these Bobby Knights is that they are about as good at football as the Little Giants. Will the Bobby Knights run the Annexation of Puerto Rico? Will this be their "one time" ? To quote Kevin McCallister...."I don't think so"
Patrick's Loser...Indiana by 12
Other Games:
-- Little Gus remembers his Barn roots and his My Little Pony Express punk Double Dribble U. Virginia may be for lovers but they are for catching a beatdown today.
Patrick's Loser...Virginia by 13
-- Ames F5 sucks up the 2 "Youths"
Patrick's Loser...Utah by 3
-- Ground Forces out flank the Pope's Pupils.
Patrick's Loser...Notre Dame by 2
-- Mollie McGrath's Mildcats get kicked out of the Cheetah by the Biting Stripper Monkeys for not tipping.
Patrick's Loser...Kentucky by 13
-- Leg Humpers are even quicker than the One Pump Chumps.
Patrick's Loser...UMass by 31
-- Champaign Tribe quotes the Cable Guy..."Red Knight's going down...down, down, down"
Patrick's Loser...Rutgers by 10
-- Pickaxes get dulled on Rocky Top. Coonhounds feast.
Patrick's Loser...UTEP by 23
-- Steve Urkel's Mt Nittany Kats thrown in nearby lake as Boat Rowing Rodents float right on by.
Patrick's Loser....Penn State by 1
-- Amazon Prime's bling blinds Lawrence Mockingjays. Tatanka closer to playoffs.
Patrick's Loser...Kansas by 10
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Patrick is an Auburn man with a deep appreciation for Auburn Sports. Inspired by the nostalgic charm of the classic "Leonard's Losers" from his teenage years, he created "Patrick's Losers" as a modern tribute. Through this playful project, he brings back the fun of game day, engaging with all fanbases while cleverly weaving in his extensive knowledge of 80s pop culture. He can be found on š @gameday_south where he post more of his awesome thoughts #WDE
