If you are an Auburn fan, you know, we are a program that can either dazzle or befuddle its fans on any given Saturday. On this game day they decided to turn on the jets and absolutely obliterate Alabama A&M. It wasn’t just a win; it was an absolute dismantling, like watching a cheetah chase a particularly unlucky gazelle. Here's a beautiful cut of some highlghts:
Another one, thank you (x10) 🍿 pic.twitter.com/0yqT2aKzHv
— Auburn Football (@AuburnFootball) September 2, 2024
Finally, the Tigers started doing what was promised to the fans - confusing the life out of everyone and completing forward passes. They played with such speed and precision that the Alabama A&M defense looked like they were were snails running in salt. Payton Thorne, who seemed to be having the time of his life, was throwing passes like he was tossing Frisbees at a dog park. It didn’t take long before Auburn’s wide receivers started scoring touchdowns like Oprah giving out cars: “You get a touchdown! You get a touchdown! Everybody gets a touchdown!”
By halftime, the score was already so lopsided that even the scoreboard seemed embarrassed. The operator was stretching his fingers. There was talk in stands about the mercy rule petition A&M asked for to shorten the game. Auburn played ten less minutes than anyone else in the country on Saturday. Alabama A&M fans sat quietly, possibly in shock or maybe just trying to calculate how much they spent on tickets and fuel from Normal, Alabama and whether it was refundable. Auburn fans, on the other hand, were starting to discuss who would play what position next, just to keep things interesting. Someone suggested letting the water boy take a few snaps in the fourth quarter. I digress.
The second half was no better for Alabama A&M. At this point, Auburn had shifted gears into something that looked less like a football game and more like a mid-intensity practice session. Auburn’s offense kept scoring, almost by accident at this point. The commentators were running out of ways to describe what was happening. “Dominating,” “unrelenting,” and “are we sure this is legal?” were tossed around frequently. The DJ stopped playing upbeat tunes and instead went for something more fitting, like Beethoven’s "Symphony No. 7."
By the fourth quarter, the referees were yawning, the fans were making dinner plans, and the only people still fully invested in the game were the Auburn deep-depth chart players, who continued to act like they were one touchdown away from securing world peace. We chose not to put 100 on their heads. That is a new feeling.
When the final whistle blew, it was less of a celebration and more of a relief. The scoreline looked more like a basketball result, and Alabama A&M looked like they’d just run a marathon through a battlefield. Auburn players exchanged high-fives, and Alabama A&M quietly slipped into the night with a nice check. All in front of several highly touted recruits. It mattered.
All in all, it was a night Auburn fans will remember fondly, and Alabama A&M fans will... well, they’ll remember it too, but maybe not so fondly. We all saw it. It was brutal.
Does it mean anything?
Well, it means a win. Those are always good. Was it lesser competition? Sure. Most of the SEC played cupcakes to start the season. Texas A&M and LSU just happened to lose to theirs (Notre Dame and USC...disgraceful).
Looking at the stats, out of SEC quarterbacks who threw 20 or more passes (which was most of the SEC outside of Milroe) in week 1, Thorne comes in second in yardage and touchdowns. Behind only Dart out of Ole Miss. Thorne did that on 9 fewer completions and without taking a sack. It was arguably the strongest offense out of the SEC for week one, considering it had ten less minutes to work with. Even still, the Tigers have three quarterbacks in the top-25 of the SEC statistically.
Oddly, I saw many stories on how good Dart (Ole Miss), Iamaleava (Tenn), and Milroe (Gumps) looked, nothing in the national or SEC media about Thorne. Good. Keep sleeping on him. Fuel.
Overall, after watching the film of all the games, Ole Miss and Auburn looked the cleanest all around.
Defensively, Auburn may have looked the best. Some of that translates no matter the competition level. The tackling was immaculate. The presumed starting defensive- backs and linebackers looked SEC ready. The interior defensive line looks like it can be special and while we don’t really know about the guys behind Faulk and McLeod, those two look like problems. Faulk was destroying an A&M tackle that is a legit NFL prospect. The only real problem, and you must be really nitpicking here, was the safety depth pieces looked lost on a couple of plays. As far as cornerbacks, I knew Scott and Lee were going to be good (They severely limited Kayin Lee in this game). However, the backups were fundamentally sound. Surprisingly so. You could see them get a little nervous at times, but they were still able to execute a very basic game plan.
And that is the Musing for this week. Offensively and defensively, that was an incredibly vanilla game plan.
There were no wrinkles or cutesy junk that we are used to seeing. It was simple: You load the box; we are going to throw it and be successful. You want to drop out of the box? Fine, meet one of our three SEC caliber tailbacks. Want to try to cover all that? Oops, there goes our quarterback down the sidelines for chunk plays. This offense is going to keep defensive coordinators up at night.
Defensively, we are going to show you nothing. Base set. For good measure we will rush three and get a sack (Faulk). Want to burn one of our linebackers or DB’s? Good luck. There are some Dudes back there. Oh, and you aren’t going to run.
Special teams? Oh, yes, when you can’t run and can’t throw, you are going to get your punt blocked for a touchdown or let Scott burn a return on you.
Auburn did what it was supposed to do. We have not seen that in a very long time. On top of which they put very little on film for upcoming games.
For the program’s 800th win, for the first 70-point game since 2003, for the highest margin of victory since the 1930’s....That is reason to hope, despite it being against Alabama A&M.
We will be back Wednesday to preview the Cal game. Have a great day and remember #WDE!
Also, remember to check out Barner Supply’s selection of gear for the discerning Barner. They really look great when the TV camera catches them.
Matthew Jacobs is an experienced sports writer who has joined Barner Supply as editor-in-chief, bringing with him a rich background in sports journalism. With a career spanning major outlets like Sports Illustrated and ESPN, Matthew has built a reputation for insightful coverage of teams across the Southeast. His deep dives into the Auburn Tigers, Atlanta Braves, Memphis Grizzlies, and Tennessee Titans have earned him a loyal following, known for his sharp analysis and engaging storytelling. At Barner Supply, Matthew looks forward to continuing his tradition of excellence, delivering compelling stories and expert commentary to a more focused audience. He can be found on 𝕏 @Mindful_Legacy
