Saturday at 11:45 a.m., Auburn will welcome South Alabama into Jordan-Hare for what can only be described as college football’s version of a crappy brunch. Yes, you read that right—kickoff is before noon, which means fans get to trade their tailgate beers for mimosas and their barbeque for cold Chick-fil-A biscuits that sat in a cooler too long. Nothing screams “big-time SEC football” like the sound of the marching band warming up while people are still finishing their first cup of coffee. I guess I am kidding myself. There are many Barners who drink their first beers much earlier than that on game day. That is what Auburn sports can do to a person. Personally, my kid wakes up at 3 in the morning and makes noises that sound like someone beating a dolphin with a cat. So, 11:45 am is basically like a night game for me. No worries here.
Auburn, of course, is "expected" to handle South Alabama like your mother handles a malfunctioning remote control: with mild frustration, occasional overreaction, a few phone calls, but eventually getting the job done. South Alabama IS technically a football team—though mostly in the sense that they own helmets and jerseys. Their mascot is a Jaguar, which sounds threatening until you realize the last notable Jaguar was the one Urban Meyer couldn’t even make win in Jacksonville. On paper, this one shouldn't be close. We all have PTSD from learning that large jungle cats cannot read the last few seasons. I digress.
The Tigers, meanwhile, are still trying to remember which personality they’re supposed to adopt this season. Are they the dangerous, gritty SEC team that sneaks up then whips on people? Or are they the Auburn that makes beating Mercer look like climbing Mount Everest? History says both are possible within the same half. Hope says this is another tune-up before the SEC schedule. We have played solidly thus far this season. Hope is a scary word for us who see a ranking beside our beloved Tigers.
There has been a lot of talk about the Jaguars having a good QB, WR, and RB combo. They gave Tulane all they wanted, and some people believe Tulane is a quality team this season. I am not one of these people. However, this is the prototypical "trap" game that every Auburn fan has to worry about. I am not that concerned about the Jaguar offense; they will make a play or two, but it is extraordinarily hard to complete passes from your back. I'm betting that their "awesome" running back will have absolute night terrors about Sylvester Smith hunting his next "Tweety Bird" to hammer. What I AM concerned about is injuries to Auburn's RBs and what will be the two best linebackers they have faced so far this season. South Alabama has a couple of dawgs there. It creates an interesting matchup that is different than the first two weeks. Which, in theory, is a good thing. If they could stop the run and force Jackson to pass, we might see a bit more of what we actually have this year.
And let’s not pretend this early kick does the crowd any favors. Auburn students are legally allergic to waking up before noon on a Saturday, so expect the student section to look like a half-drunk Waffle House until about the second quarter. With any luck, Auburn will already be up three touchdowns, which is the perfect margin to lull everyone into an uneasy nap before South Alabama accidentally makes it interesting in the third.
If Auburn wins by 40, everyone will say, “Well, it was just South Alabama.” If Auburn only wins by 10, the state of Alabama will melt down faster than Tuscaloosa did when Florida State handed that furry-loving crew an L. Either way, no one outside of Lee County will remember this game existed by Sunday supper. Oklahoma will dominate our minds.
Prediction? This may be a classic trap game, but this is not a 2023 Tigers team. Auburn 38, South Alabama 10. The Jaguars will put up a fight, but eventually remember they aren’t actually allowed to win in Jordan-Hare.
War. Damn. Eagle.
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Matthew, the EIC of the Barner Blog, is an experienced sportswriter who brings a rich background in sports journalism. With a career spanning major outlets such as Sports Illustrated and ESPN, Matthew has built a reputation for insightful coverage of teams across the Southeast. His in-depth coverage of the Auburn Tigers, Atlanta Braves, Memphis Grizzlies, and Tennessee Titans has earned him a loyal following, recognized for his sharp analysis and engaging storytelling. At Barner Supply, Matthew strives to uphold his tradition of excellence, delivering compelling stories and expert commentary to a more targeted audience. He can be found on 𝕏 @WarEagleMatthew
